Finding Balance in Life

Some fun things I incorporated into my busy schedule!

   As humans, we frequently get caught up in all of the responsibilities of life that we can forget to simply appreciate it. Throughout my high school career, I have found that there is an extent where one can overstudy, overwork, and overbook their schedule. It is completely valid to want to strive to succeed as a student, athlete, or employee. However, there is a balance that needs to be found to achieve this success. Without a balance of work and play, I found myself struggling to give my best effort. At the end of the day, we all need a break sometimes, we are human. 

   Throughout high school, I have heavily involved myself in many extracurricular activities, sports, and clubs. At the beginning of my senior year, I found it difficult to find even a minute to breathe. I had extremely overworked myself and I was cramming way too many things into my schedule. I had many obligations that I needed to attend, tasks I needed to complete, shifts I had to work. Because of the numerous things I signed myself up for, I lost hours of sleep, family time, and energy. Time went on, and I neglected the long-drawn-out and overwhelming feeling that took over my life. I wanted to do it all on my own and thought that I could. Quickly, I was burnt out, my body could no longer handle the 4:45 am alarm - early workout - a full day of school - lunch meeting - shift after school - homework until bed lifestyle. I needed a change. The whole college application process was near, and I finally found a limit that I could not handle. 

   I began by deciding what my biggest priorities were and started brainstorming ways I could find a balance. I needed to decide what I was willing to give up – this was the hardest part for me, but I had to prioritize myself and my health. I could not handle it all and that is completely okay! I needed more time to enjoy my last year of high school, my last year living at home, and I wanted to finish strong. These things were very important to me. After thinking long and hard, I quit my job for the time being, and it ended up all working out for the better. My mood improved when I had more time to sleep and spend with my friends and family, I had found a balance. Changing my mindset to believe that time spent doing fun things was not a waste of time was life-changing for me. I was able to accomplish so much more in the end because I had more energy and more focus.

    I would encourage everyone to evaluate what parts of their life may feel unbalanced and decide what parts could be lessened to help improve the quality of their life. It is going to look different for each and every person, work and play is not 50-50 for everyone. Setting intentions, goals, and establishing priorities are key. Some may need more time to relax and let loose, some may spend their relaxation time on the couch, while others would rather have a fun night out on the town. It's essential to spend a chunk of time every day doing something that fills your cup, in order to give your all in the important aspects of your life. Without a proper break, you cannot reach your full potential. Make sure to incorporate time to do things you enjoy into your busy schedule —watch the positive changes occur before your eyes!

Ellie Williams <3

Success is Relative

I grew up 4 years behind a straight A’s, teachers favorite, genius sister. Following behind in her shadow was pretty tough. While she was two years ahead in math, advanced in English and science, and achieving high test scores, I was getting A’s and B’s in my average classes as an average student. It used to really bother me, the feeling that I was letting down my family, not filling the footprints my sister had laid out before me. 

The start of the school year was always rough, especially when I had her past teachers. It wouldn't take them long to find out that the majority of the Hoff smarts went to the first child. I am a pretty good student, but compared to my sister, I was below average. I placed so much pressure on myself to try to uphold her success, striving for all A’s as just a middle schooler. I found out soon that in order to uphold my friendships, swim status, and social life, I wouldn’t be getting straight A’s and perfect test scores. 

I decided, around the age of 12, that I didn’t have to be just like my sister. I would find what I am good at and what I enjoy and work on those talents. It wasn't as easy as it sounds, to let go of all of the pressure I held against myself in regards to school, but over the course of the year, I started paying more attention to my talents and achievements in other places.

One thing I have always succeeded in was swimming. I have swam my whole life -- on a club team and in the summer. The pool was where I felt most at home, and it was the one thing that I excelled at that my sister didn’t. So, I started to make a shift, focusing more on my success in the pool than in school, finding the right balance to where I was still getting good grades, but could have great success in swimming. It took me years to understand this one thing: success is relative. I didn’t need to be the same student as my sister because I have other talents. 

We spend our lives comparing ourselves to others, our peers, social media influencers, friends, family, everyone. Success should only be judged on your effort and your achievements, not others.

Lily Hoff

Owning Your Story Requires the Strength of a Hero.

The Hero's Journey has been so popularized, my daughter refers to it as cliche (a gut punch to a once psychology turned English major). So, let’s talk about the journey as it was before it became part of an assignment-- a story. Before psychology and English professors jumped on the bandwagon, the Hero’s Journey was our pocket manual on how to become better humans. It taught us how to use each part of our lives as a pathway toward integrity. 

Brene Brown teaches us “You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness.” Owning your story means inviting all parts of yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly, to sit down, grasp hands, share coffee, and remember with raw honesty. Owning your story demands courage--the kind of courage it takes to stay inside of it and make friends with the parts you’d rather leave alone to die in the desert. Owning your story means watching yourself in your mind’s eye staring into the blue sparkling ocean, the sky full of stars, or the room full of strangers. It’s smelling the asphalt on your bleeding face, hearing the glass (or the bat or the sky or the bone or the ice or your voice) crack. It’s feeling the tears of shame drip down your flaming cheeks or holding the papery skin of your grandmother’s hand in your sweaty palm. It’s tasting fear like metal or sand or a mouthful of marbles. It’s inhaling the smell of the fire, the hospital, an ex’s neck, or the backyard of your old house 2,000 miles away. Owning your story costs the vulnerability to look deep in the eyes of each of the parts of you, welcome them and love them. It takes the determination to wrestle with your demons of disappointment, failures, and shortcomings until you understand they are your truest teachers, friends, and guardians--faithful companions across the thresholds of your life’s journey. 

When we have the courage to walk into our own story and own it, we get to write a brave new ending. And, when we don’t own our stories of failures, setbacks, and hurt, they own us. 

~Brene Brown

I invite you to consider this new year as a stretch on a journey toward who you want to become. Along the way, I encourage you to welcome ALL parts of yourself. Offer them tea and a pillow and your full attention. Ask them what they want you to know. Listen to what they say and promise you will keep coming back, because a life of integrity means every part of yourself and your story have a seat at the table and are honored, valued, and cherished. 

SHINE On!

Natasha Straayer

Just Chill and Learn

I’m sitting in the back of a long room with 3 successful business professionals answering questions about what their college degrees have to do with their current career path. (Spoiler alert: Each of them aren’t doing anything related to their undergrad degree!!) As one of the professionals states, our purpose as students is to “chill and learn” . It's as if my entire college experience flashed before my eyes. Instead of feeling nostalgic about the past four years, I found myself feeling moments of regret. Regret for missed relationships. Regret for missed basketball games. Regret for any time I chose to sit in my own self pity instead of choosing experience. 

An experience is an encounter with something or someone you would’ve otherwise not had the opportunity of encountering. To “chill and learn” is a simple way of stating exactly what four years of the college experience should be formed around. But to chill is not to omit any responsibility or opportunity from your life. The term is giving you permission to take the weight off your shoulders and have an encounter that you would’ve missed had you not “chilled”. Each experience will also have an opportunity for you to learn. I’m not talking about learning about the powerhouse of the cell or why a debit should match a credit, but gaining new experiences that help you continue to grow. 

So, the special equation to follow in your college career is that if you chill and allow experiences to come your way, then you have the opportunity for growth. And isn’t growth what we’re in college to experience? Now, I know the term self pity seems intense and really sad, but the part that I want you to recognize is that it’s self-inflicted. Yes, sometimes other people can be mean. And yes, sometimes life hits you hard and a good movie is the only fix. But don’t let those reasons become the excuse you use to avoid experiences that might challenge you or open new doors. 

I think a popular misconception of college is that you’re supposed to magically be the girl on Instagram that’s taking pictures with her life-long best friends in the dorm they just absolutely love living in. If I took a poll of girls who genuinely believed this to be their experience I think 5% would say yes. My advice to you who would’ve said yes, continue to keep an open mind and search for even greater experiences that push you to grow! And my encouragement to those who are in the same place as me, I push you to try one new thing a week that you haven’t before. It can be as small as choosing a new seat in the dining hall or as big as jumping into a new workout class without knowing a soul. 

To chill and learn is to calm the part of your mind that is filled with “what if” and “why not me” in order to be completely open to growth in more ways than you could imagine. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “All of life is a constant education.” I want you to remember this quote the next time you think an experience won’t help you learn something or challenge you to grow. And remember, just chill and learn. 

Fear...It's Terrifying

If you’re familiar with the popular cartoon Phineas and Ferb, you can likely visualize the rapid passing of time portrayed in the intro theme song by the quick flipping of a daily calendar. I’d say that’s an accurate depiction of life right about now. 

With each 5 minute snooze, 30 second stop light, and 9 seconds spent tying shoes, November 1st barrels near. That anticipated Monday is the day I must click the button on my Common Application and officially determine my top choice of school. Due to the nature of the admissions process, upon acceptance I must retract my applications from all other schools and attend that school.

As one can imagine, this is incredibly daunting. Come a week from the day I am writing this, I will have determined the place that I will spend the next four years of my life. 

That’s not true. 

Come a week from today I will have determined the place that I wish to spend the next four years of my life. I will have put the ball in their court and must then wait impatiently for yet another terrifying date. December 15: the day I know if the choice I made the month prior was even a choice at all. 

So here is what I know about the college admissions process:

It’s a lot of writing & rewriting,

It’s a lot of deciding & waiting,

and

It’s a lot of opportunities for rejection.

Essentially,

It’s terrifying. 

I’m scared of making the wrong decision--picking this school over that one. I’m terrified that although both are good options, maybe I’ll pick the one that’s just good, not great. Maybe I’ll regret that decision and forever wonder what would have happened had I leaned the other way. 

I’m scared that I’ll hate college and I won't figure out what I want to do, and I’ll struggle to make friends and feel sick so far from home.

I’m scared of getting rejected from these schools, being told that the stack of papers that represent me and my work are not good enough for a school. I didn’t get a high enough test score. I didn’t participate in enough extracurriculars. My writing isn’t good enough. 

I’m not good enough. 

Of course this thinking is illogical and whether or not I am the student a school is looking for, or if my packet does or doesn’t make it to just the right pile at just the right time is not an evaluation of my worth or who I am as a person. Likely, whatever school I pick, I will fall deeply in love with and have the experience that is just right for me. I’ll have an amazing four years and make connections that last a lifetime. Or, maybe I won't enjoy my time. Perhaps, I will feel distant and alone. These are not unrealistic fears, but the possible and probable beautiful things that can come of my college experience will forever outweigh the fear that I feel pressing that final button in my application. 

I told you what I know about the college admissions process.

Here is what I know about fear:

It will never totally go away

It is something that everyone struggles with

and 

It doesn’t have to hold you back

You’re going to be scared. Whether it be of monsters under your bed or the uncertainty of the future, fear is a force of nature, a part of life that we all struggle with and will never fully go away. Don’t let it restrict the opportunities for triumph and amazing feats I know you are destined to accomplish. Progress into the things that scare you with courage and pride and be there for others when courage isn’t enough. Never forget, you are stronger than fear.